Masculinity

Gender is not a matter of choice in nature. We live in a time of gender alteration by surgery. We live in a time of metrosexuality. We live in a time of sexual take-out menus on Web sites. You name it; you can get it.

Masculinity is still valued in a society where men are becoming undervalued. Education statistics indicate that men are performing badly academically in relation to women. The media culture indicates that brutish, rude, criminal men sell clothes and music.

So, what is masculinity? Is it a mix of hormonal responses and affect? Is it the swagger, the crotch scratch? Is it the accomplishment of athletic skill? Is it the ability to coldly kill an enemy in a uniform? How do you define masculinity?

I abandoned my masculinity about 10 yrs ago when I first fell critically ill and nearly died. I realized that disability had made me something other than masculine or feminine. It had made me human in consciousness. Recovery only solidified this feeling about my genderness. I began the process of accepting myself to an extent I had never imagined when I was engaged in the 'normal' world.

I happen to believe that moving past obsession with gender is another step in personal evolution.

I also think that gender obsession to the point of self mutilation is a disease. The cure for that disease is the actual mutilation (sex reassignment) in the eyes of some. I would disagree, despite the current political trend to accept that solution. Yet, I would support and defend those who feel so compelled that they undertake that surgery, if I felt they have explored all possible options to deal with their gender obsession without self mutilation.

The photograph above is allegedly of Oscar de la Hoya, the famous boxing champ. It has become a notorious image. It challenges the masculine stereotype of millions of men and women. It does not challenge mine. Does it challenge yours? My practice includes being aware of my gender and what effects it has on my attempts at personal evolution. While I am not obsessed with my genderness, I am also not ignorant about it. This is another example of seeking the Middle Path.