Identity

Identity can be the foundation of individual human development in early life, yet it can become a retardant to individual human growth in later life. Young people need to develop a sense of self in relation to their environment to grow out of the narcissism of adolescence to a socialized and independent adulthood. Recent psycho-social research in wealthy countries shows that this process is prolonged into the third decade of life as prosperity and longevity increase in societies.

In later life, the reflexive animal fear of change, stimulated by progressive experiences of loss, trauma and the unpredictable nature of life, often leads people to form a rigid self-concept: 'I don't do that. I wouldn't go there. I must have my this or that.' These collected 'I do's' and 'I don'ts' form an identity that can become a prison, which confines and stifles.

Liberation from identity comes with the understanding of the inevitability of death. I am not referring to the trite 'We are all dying' attitudes seen in popular media. Understanding the inevitability of my own death has come with touching death. I have been close to my own death twice. I have nursed hundreds of dying patients. I have washed bodies for burial. I have lowered the eyelids of people I have known and loved in life. This has brought me liberation from elements of my identity which were indeed narrowing my life.

Identity is best kept fluid in practice. Always expanding and sometimes contracting. Openness to the new, balanced with faithfulness to truth, mindfulness and compassion, allows for personal growth. A vital, growing person need not worry about identity, as long as his/her growth is based in responsible and loving practice toward the human beings in his/her life. I am quite sure that love of others, rather than identity, is the core of any mindful and compassionate practice.