Courtesy

Courtesy, defined as a courteous (polite;considerate) behavior or act in the OED, is a powerful force. While the pen is mightier than the sword, courtesy is mightier than rudeness or aggression. As American culture emerges from the cloud of rapper thuggery, perhaps common courtesy could heal some of our cultural and philosophical rifts.

The power of common courtesy always amazes me, as a practitioner and recipient of it. Just yesterday, at my gym, which is still deeply immersed in rapper thuggery at times, the manager, usually grumpy and gruff, turned a corner as I did and said, "Hello, sir, how are you today?"as he passed me. Usually he ignores my customary nod and grin. In fact, he has snorted in response to it on occasion.

The effect of his courtesy was immediate. I felt more relaxed. The gym, which usually feels like a challenging mine field, seemed much more welcoming and benign for a while. A gang of rough young men soon obliterated the momentary glow, but a small incremental softening of the environment by the manager endured for me.

Subways, retail stores and elevators in the urban environment are fertile fields for common courtesy. Sowing the seed of polite, direct interactions with complete strangers in potentially hostile environments is very empowering. Eye contact and a smile, followed by a polite word or gesture, does the trick. Try it. You will see for yourself and reap the benefits.