Value

The rapper/gangster subculture of the last twenty years has based song after song on the theme of respect. That culture seems incapable of realizing that respect is gained where respect is given. Brutality does not earn respect. It earns fear and violence.

Rather than approaching one another with macho intimidation, I suggest we take each other in with an eye to value those things which make each of us unique and valuable in some way. Valuing one another and ourselves for what we can contribute is a way to avoid focusing on our deficits and weaknesses.

The current pop-culture abhorrence of "judging" is often a defense against looking at selfish and/or dysfunctional behavior in ourselves. Judgment is absolutely necessary to survival and productivity in life. Anyone who stops judging human behaviors and situations will have a bumpy road ahead. However, judging behaviors can be balanced by valuing those aspects of behaviors, people and situations, which enhance our lives. In other words, it helps to learn to tolerate the bad, within limits, while appreciating the good in any relationship or situation.

As we become more adept at recognizing and validating value in our relationships and life situations, our lives gain depth and quality. This process helps us to define our own personal values, which then become sign posts along our paths in life.