Shorthand

There is no word that can summarize me. However, I use the sentence, "I am a [blank].". I use that sentence less these days.

I have found that how I fill in the blank is often a justification for my place in a certain setting. For example, when conversing with a group of atheists or Buddhists, I might say, "I am a humanist." And, as I say it, I can read on their faces the many different individual things that means to the them. My personal reality as a humanist would not adequately or correctly be represented by the sum of their reactions, I am sure.

One of the best attributes of the Harvard Humanist organization, to which I am a friend, is its culture of endless exploration and explanation of what words like "humanist" mean. This lively process of shaping a humanist identity in a community of people, self-defined as atheists, naturalists, agnostics and so on, is the best part of the humanist experience for me in that community.

I marvel at people who so self-assuredly say, "I am a Catholic." or "I am an Episcopalian." with the certainty of placing a glass on a tabletop. Plunk. That's who I am. Period. When encouraged, these same people will add to the list in a similar manner. "I am a father of two." or "I am a machinist." or "I am an artist." Yet, when asked how they integrate all these I's into the person they perceive themselves to be in that moment, they return a puzzled or blank stare.

Perhaps we are what we speak. Or perhaps we are not.

I believe it takes a great deal of conscientious effort to integrate and understand the composite beings we are and are becoming in every moment of our lives. This is the presence of mind that integrates all the "I am"'s into a functional and awake person. Some of us have begun this discipline in religion, some in psychotherapy, some in art. Many of us simply cannot be bothered. For this latter group, life simply happens amid a jumble of roles, obligations and routines.

Integrating the self with an awake and intentional brain within its body in every moment is hard work. This is the core of mindful living. Meditation, yoga, proper diet, all help this process. But, the decision to be in each moment in the fullest human way comes first. This is a commitment to bring together all the indentities we have been taught and have assumed into a whole person. There is no shortcut to getting there. The only shorthand that describes that integrated person fully is "I am who I am".