Promiscuity
Promiscuity traditionally refers to indiscriminate sexual intercourse with multiple partners. Most male-dominated cultures accept male heterosexual promiscuity as a right and expectation of men. These cultures include those which traditionally sexually mutilate women and restrict female heterosexuality to mongamy under pain of death. There are deep evolutionary roots for these behaviors.
I believe the rise in sexual promiscuity in both genders in developed countries mirrors the social networking that has become a mainstay of social interaction. Just a decade ago, the thought of someone seriously saying they have 300 or 3000 friends was laughable. Now, Facebook profiles commonly boast friends in those numbers. This is a social parallel to sexual promiscuity, multiple uncommitted contacts which are based in immediate or transitory connections. It has not destroyed civilization. Many feel it has enhanced it.
Sexuality is obviously neither sacred nor tied to reproduction in most cases. If it were, the planet would have been destroyed by human population a long time ago. Sexual fulfillment is a basic human need. Like eating, having sex can be underdone or overdone. Maintaining a healthy sexual routine could entail behavior which some may consider promiscuous. This is an example of superimposed morality being unhealthy. However, having multiple sexual experiences with multiple partners at the expense of other fulfilling human relationships is an imbalanced and unhealthy sexuality. A sexual addiction, perhaps. There is a sexual Middle Path.
Finding a sexual balance for personal health is unsupported or ignored by most religions and philosophies. Many disciplines advise abstinence, perhaps the worst possible choice for emotional and physiological health. Most disciplines simply ignore sexuality with the exception of strict prescriptions for heterosexual behavior, geared to producing more followers.
As a practical humanist, untied to moral prescriptions of religion or philosophy, I feel it is very important for human beings to be at peace with their sexuality. People who are not tend to be grumpy, unhealthy and resentful. Being at peace with your own body requires that you be at peace with your own sexual needs and desires. If you are fortunate enough to have more than one sexually satisfying and emotionally supportive relationship, I would encourage you to be happy for your good luck. However, mindless pursuit of sex for sex's sake is a dead end street. It interferes with emotional health and prevents effective practice in other areas of life. Placing all your sexual needs and desires on one person is, in most cases, a time-limited arrangement. The challenge, as with most things, is finding the right balance.
Until you get a balanced view and satisfying peace with your own sexuality, true personal peace will elude you. The primary sexual relationship in your life is the sexual relationship you have with your own body. By nurturing and becoming skilled in that relationship, you will develop a clear understanding of your sexual needs and desires. The one thing worse than too much sexual release, is no sexual release. I think an assessment of my sexual needs and desires is a necessary part of my daily practice. I see fulfilling those needs as my own personal responsibility to myself, with ot without the help of others.
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| Dr. Ruth |
Industrialized nations have seen a degree of charge in this paradigm. The liberation of female sexuality has led to an increase in female promiscuity and a separation of female sexuality from female reproduction among educated women. Single female parenting, divorced from sexuality is becoming a more common occurrence. Women are becoming less ashamed of their sexual needs and desires. Some women are asserting their individual human right to have sexually satisfied lives without bearing children.
I believe the rise in sexual promiscuity in both genders in developed countries mirrors the social networking that has become a mainstay of social interaction. Just a decade ago, the thought of someone seriously saying they have 300 or 3000 friends was laughable. Now, Facebook profiles commonly boast friends in those numbers. This is a social parallel to sexual promiscuity, multiple uncommitted contacts which are based in immediate or transitory connections. It has not destroyed civilization. Many feel it has enhanced it.
Sexuality is obviously neither sacred nor tied to reproduction in most cases. If it were, the planet would have been destroyed by human population a long time ago. Sexual fulfillment is a basic human need. Like eating, having sex can be underdone or overdone. Maintaining a healthy sexual routine could entail behavior which some may consider promiscuous. This is an example of superimposed morality being unhealthy. However, having multiple sexual experiences with multiple partners at the expense of other fulfilling human relationships is an imbalanced and unhealthy sexuality. A sexual addiction, perhaps. There is a sexual Middle Path.
Finding a sexual balance for personal health is unsupported or ignored by most religions and philosophies. Many disciplines advise abstinence, perhaps the worst possible choice for emotional and physiological health. Most disciplines simply ignore sexuality with the exception of strict prescriptions for heterosexual behavior, geared to producing more followers.
As a practical humanist, untied to moral prescriptions of religion or philosophy, I feel it is very important for human beings to be at peace with their sexuality. People who are not tend to be grumpy, unhealthy and resentful. Being at peace with your own body requires that you be at peace with your own sexual needs and desires. If you are fortunate enough to have more than one sexually satisfying and emotionally supportive relationship, I would encourage you to be happy for your good luck. However, mindless pursuit of sex for sex's sake is a dead end street. It interferes with emotional health and prevents effective practice in other areas of life. Placing all your sexual needs and desires on one person is, in most cases, a time-limited arrangement. The challenge, as with most things, is finding the right balance.
Until you get a balanced view and satisfying peace with your own sexuality, true personal peace will elude you. The primary sexual relationship in your life is the sexual relationship you have with your own body. By nurturing and becoming skilled in that relationship, you will develop a clear understanding of your sexual needs and desires. The one thing worse than too much sexual release, is no sexual release. I think an assessment of my sexual needs and desires is a necessary part of my daily practice. I see fulfilling those needs as my own personal responsibility to myself, with ot without the help of others.
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