Anticipation
Christmas Eve still brings with it an uncomfortable feeling. My childhood years, spent in a Roman-Russian-Orthodox Catholic home, was fraught with conflicts over Christmas. The Irish-German-American side of the family took a Dickensian attitude about Christmas, as a time for generosity and enjoyment. My often grim policeman father became jovial and youthful as the holiday approached. His giddy anticipation could be contagious at times.
My mother, whose Polish-Lithuanian-Roman-Catholic father, a beefy blacksmith, was a physically abusive alcoholic, became anxious, and her anticipation of Christmas was laced with dread, even though her monstrous father was long dead. Her Russian-Orthodox mother, whose Christmas did not coincide with the one we celebrated, retreated to her room in our house and protested silently against our apostasy. My parents inevitably argued under the strain.
This domestic dissonance, which would now be seen as charming multicultural diversity by the politically correct and inane, led to my anticipating the end of Christmas with anxious urgency. The emotionality about the Savior's Birth, the sentimental music and enforced participation in events at my Catholic schools fed a flood of neurotic tension within my childhood body which began with Advent and ended with Boxing Day, when I usually slept for hours out of pure exhaustion. My old body still tenses unconsciously around Christmas.
The touting of Christ as a Prince of Peace rang hollow in my young ears. "Peace!" I'd think, "If this is peace, then what is war?" Perhaps my early Christmas experiences set me on my path to humanism.
I now see an attempt by corporate power to make Materialism, as embodied in Commercial Christmas, the new world religion. "Buy presents and save the economy!" This is the Brave-New-World motto. No good will to anti-materialist Muslims but good will to pillaging bankers. More manipulation, different package. Same holidays.
I now eagerly anticipate and work toward a time when religions, like Catholicism and Materialism, do not stand in the way of human progress. I anticipate the pulling down of idols, such as popes, pop culture celebrities and greedy moguls, in favor of elevating the common man as the focus of love and appreciation. This will be the advent of world peace. This will be the beginning of unprecedented human progress for the greater good.
My mother, whose Polish-Lithuanian-Roman-Catholic father, a beefy blacksmith, was a physically abusive alcoholic, became anxious, and her anticipation of Christmas was laced with dread, even though her monstrous father was long dead. Her Russian-Orthodox mother, whose Christmas did not coincide with the one we celebrated, retreated to her room in our house and protested silently against our apostasy. My parents inevitably argued under the strain.This domestic dissonance, which would now be seen as charming multicultural diversity by the politically correct and inane, led to my anticipating the end of Christmas with anxious urgency. The emotionality about the Savior's Birth, the sentimental music and enforced participation in events at my Catholic schools fed a flood of neurotic tension within my childhood body which began with Advent and ended with Boxing Day, when I usually slept for hours out of pure exhaustion. My old body still tenses unconsciously around Christmas.
The touting of Christ as a Prince of Peace rang hollow in my young ears. "Peace!" I'd think, "If this is peace, then what is war?" Perhaps my early Christmas experiences set me on my path to humanism.
I now see an attempt by corporate power to make Materialism, as embodied in Commercial Christmas, the new world religion. "Buy presents and save the economy!" This is the Brave-New-World motto. No good will to anti-materialist Muslims but good will to pillaging bankers. More manipulation, different package. Same holidays.
I now eagerly anticipate and work toward a time when religions, like Catholicism and Materialism, do not stand in the way of human progress. I anticipate the pulling down of idols, such as popes, pop culture celebrities and greedy moguls, in favor of elevating the common man as the focus of love and appreciation. This will be the advent of world peace. This will be the beginning of unprecedented human progress for the greater good.
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