Identity

How do you identify yourself? What power do you grant to the labels you apply to yourself? Are you the labels? Or do you define your labels by your behaviors? How would others identify you?

Recent American culture has been obsessed with gender identity issues. Trendy documentaries pop up on TV about gender-reassignment surgery, which impacts the tiniest fraction of the population. Why this attentiveness to such a minuscule part of society? Isn't it interesting that this awareness accompanies a parallel awareness in media about plastic surgery to obliterate signs of normal human aging?

Many people assume identities to hide. Most often they are hiding from themselves. Some assume identities to deceive or impress others. It is amazing to consider how easily human beings can be deceived or impressed by disguises. 

One enemy of personal development is self-disguise. Convincing yourself that you are someone you are not retards growth and personality enrichment. While there is some benefit to behaviorally trying to be who you wish to be, there is little benefit to simply acting out a role without the personal grounding to follow through on those behaviors in a responsible and effective way. For example, you may pretend to be a doctor, but you will most likely not do much healing without some basic medical knowledge. 

How much of your identity is defined by others? If you receive positive attention or benefits from behaving a certain way for certain people in your life, you may continue to do so, even if the behaviors are not productive for your own development or happiness. Gay men who stay in heterosexual marriages with high school sweethearts for decades can attest to the pain of this course. How many of us have stayed in jobs for the social or economic benefits despite our private misery? 

Identity is a dynamic process when approached from the perspective of daily practice. Realizing that identity changes with life is a great release from having to maintain rigid roles in relationships and situations. Finding and trusting the core of your true self through practice is the basis of a comfortable identity. Operating in the world within a confident and relaxed self-concept eliminates a great deal of needless anxiety. This requires a strong commitment to honesty and practice.