Sex
Sex is politicized, objectified and vended everywhere in American society. It is primitively linked exclusively with reproduction in the more sophisticated media. The abysmal lack of sex education in our schools is all too evident. Internet sex vendors, while actually helping the sexually desperate in some cases, can be accused of generally contributing to sexual dysfunction in society. Sex for money is still the theme there.
America's chosen ignorance about and disrespect for aging is most glaring in its attitudes toward sexuality in later stages of life. High rates of prostate cancer in men are bolstered by sexual dysfunction in men over 50. Similarly, negative physiological and psychological aspects of aging in women over 50 are complicated by sexual inactivity. The simple fact that HIV transmission has increased gradually among the heterosexual population over 60 is testimony to the reality of human sexual need throughout life.
Sex is very often linked with alcohol and drug use or abuse. Some people with normal sexual appetites have been ushered into sexual addiction groups by sexually repressed psychotherapists, who maintain that sex out of the context of long term mating is perverse or unhealthy. Sex, unlike alcohol, is a basic biological need. The perversion of sex in American society is its religiously-based mislabeling as unclean and unholy.
An important part of personal liberation is taking control of your own body. Women are particularly sensitive to this in modern society. Unfortunately, many women, still sexually inhibited and repressed, confuse their need for sex with their need to reproduce. Women are as entitled to and in need of sexual pleasure and release, unassociated with pregnancy, as are men. Denial of this human right lies at the core of some Islamic, Orthodox Jewish, Roman Catholic and Mormon-based cultural abuse of women.
Gay men have been persecuted historically on the basis of their sexuality. The current attempts by conservative gay activists to sanitize homosexual sex with marriage and child-rearing imagery within the gay community. A certain moral superiority is associated with this trend in the GLBT community. "We are not like those promiscuous single gay men,"is the subtext. Of course, in most cases this is an outright lie. All people have sexual needs that are not exclusively met within the confines of a religiously based contract, meant to provide financial stability and assure equal distribution of shared material assets. The natural need for sex is not driven by checkbooks or material luxury. It is intrinsically human and intrinsically individual.
The core of any sexual health is the healthy, informed relationship of the individual with the his/her own body. We have regressed from the days of the original edition of Our Bodies Ourselves (1971), a groundbreaking book on personal sexuality. In fact, the new edition of this book has fled somewhat from its sexual-liberation model and is needlessly fusing female sex with reproduction, as opposed to differentiating the distinctly different health aspects of female sexuality and pregnancy. Joy of Sex (1972) and Joy of Gay Sex (1977) exemplified the pre-HIV sexual liberation movement for sexual health. I note that these have recently been revised and republished over thirty years later, an indication of the backsliding in the progress to greater sexual health, after the exploitation of HIV by the those who wish to control and punish.
In the post-HIV age, sexual intercourse is often approached like driving a car. The main focus of sex education is avoiding an accident. This is completely wrong-headed, in my opinion. Anyone who has been a passenger with an anxious driver knows what I mean. Anxious drivers are more susceptible to having an accident by overreacting to perceived threats. Calmly vigilant drivers can enjoy the process and drive safely. Confidence comes with practice. And, new drivers get the best practice by driving alone for extended distances without distraction.
In a healthy sexuality, the individual is the driver of his/her own sexual experiences. This comes with learning your own sexuality, your own sexual organs and their pleasures. Just as learning to trust your mind begins with learning your own brain's motivations, joys and inhibitions, learning to enjoy sex begins with learning your body's own desires, pleasures and methods of attaining satisfaction. Like meditation, masturbation is a personal method of self-discovery that improves and informs with regular practice. Even those who are in regular sexual relationships can benefit from masturbation as a tool for understanding evolving sexual needs.
Objectifying another human being for sexual pleasure (hook-up sex) may be mutually agreed upon. If this is consensual and causes no harm or disease transmission, what is the moral or ethical issue? Virtual objectified sex (pornography or video-chat) sex may also be mutually consensual. The objectified model may be performing out of economic necessity. As long as the performer is not being forced against his/her will, what is the moral or ethical issue? Wouldn't a humane society be more concerned about preventing the brutal exploitation of sex workers, rather than bullying sex workers who are socially and economically vulnerable? In the case of mutually consensual video sexuality, doesn't it serve the needs of the unavoidably isolated and frustrated without causing harm? Isn't it healthier for these individuals to have a sexual outlet rather than suffer in isolation?
Current American society is still immature in its conversations about sex. The Naughty Factor is everywhere. This reflects American neo-religiosity. It is a symptom of sexual illness. Healthy sexuality is uninhibited, consensual, expressive. Perversion is unhealthy sexuality of any kind, poisoned by guilt and shame. As a humanist, committed to promoting health in myself and in those in my environment, I support open conversations about sexuality in relationships and in communities.
America's chosen ignorance about and disrespect for aging is most glaring in its attitudes toward sexuality in later stages of life. High rates of prostate cancer in men are bolstered by sexual dysfunction in men over 50. Similarly, negative physiological and psychological aspects of aging in women over 50 are complicated by sexual inactivity. The simple fact that HIV transmission has increased gradually among the heterosexual population over 60 is testimony to the reality of human sexual need throughout life.
Sex is very often linked with alcohol and drug use or abuse. Some people with normal sexual appetites have been ushered into sexual addiction groups by sexually repressed psychotherapists, who maintain that sex out of the context of long term mating is perverse or unhealthy. Sex, unlike alcohol, is a basic biological need. The perversion of sex in American society is its religiously-based mislabeling as unclean and unholy.An important part of personal liberation is taking control of your own body. Women are particularly sensitive to this in modern society. Unfortunately, many women, still sexually inhibited and repressed, confuse their need for sex with their need to reproduce. Women are as entitled to and in need of sexual pleasure and release, unassociated with pregnancy, as are men. Denial of this human right lies at the core of some Islamic, Orthodox Jewish, Roman Catholic and Mormon-based cultural abuse of women.
Gay men have been persecuted historically on the basis of their sexuality. The current attempts by conservative gay activists to sanitize homosexual sex with marriage and child-rearing imagery within the gay community. A certain moral superiority is associated with this trend in the GLBT community. "We are not like those promiscuous single gay men,"is the subtext. Of course, in most cases this is an outright lie. All people have sexual needs that are not exclusively met within the confines of a religiously based contract, meant to provide financial stability and assure equal distribution of shared material assets. The natural need for sex is not driven by checkbooks or material luxury. It is intrinsically human and intrinsically individual.
The core of any sexual health is the healthy, informed relationship of the individual with the his/her own body. We have regressed from the days of the original edition of Our Bodies Ourselves (1971), a groundbreaking book on personal sexuality. In fact, the new edition of this book has fled somewhat from its sexual-liberation model and is needlessly fusing female sex with reproduction, as opposed to differentiating the distinctly different health aspects of female sexuality and pregnancy. Joy of Sex (1972) and Joy of Gay Sex (1977) exemplified the pre-HIV sexual liberation movement for sexual health. I note that these have recently been revised and republished over thirty years later, an indication of the backsliding in the progress to greater sexual health, after the exploitation of HIV by the those who wish to control and punish.
In the post-HIV age, sexual intercourse is often approached like driving a car. The main focus of sex education is avoiding an accident. This is completely wrong-headed, in my opinion. Anyone who has been a passenger with an anxious driver knows what I mean. Anxious drivers are more susceptible to having an accident by overreacting to perceived threats. Calmly vigilant drivers can enjoy the process and drive safely. Confidence comes with practice. And, new drivers get the best practice by driving alone for extended distances without distraction.
In a healthy sexuality, the individual is the driver of his/her own sexual experiences. This comes with learning your own sexuality, your own sexual organs and their pleasures. Just as learning to trust your mind begins with learning your own brain's motivations, joys and inhibitions, learning to enjoy sex begins with learning your body's own desires, pleasures and methods of attaining satisfaction. Like meditation, masturbation is a personal method of self-discovery that improves and informs with regular practice. Even those who are in regular sexual relationships can benefit from masturbation as a tool for understanding evolving sexual needs.
Objectifying another human being for sexual pleasure (hook-up sex) may be mutually agreed upon. If this is consensual and causes no harm or disease transmission, what is the moral or ethical issue? Virtual objectified sex (pornography or video-chat) sex may also be mutually consensual. The objectified model may be performing out of economic necessity. As long as the performer is not being forced against his/her will, what is the moral or ethical issue? Wouldn't a humane society be more concerned about preventing the brutal exploitation of sex workers, rather than bullying sex workers who are socially and economically vulnerable? In the case of mutually consensual video sexuality, doesn't it serve the needs of the unavoidably isolated and frustrated without causing harm? Isn't it healthier for these individuals to have a sexual outlet rather than suffer in isolation?
Current American society is still immature in its conversations about sex. The Naughty Factor is everywhere. This reflects American neo-religiosity. It is a symptom of sexual illness. Healthy sexuality is uninhibited, consensual, expressive. Perversion is unhealthy sexuality of any kind, poisoned by guilt and shame. As a humanist, committed to promoting health in myself and in those in my environment, I support open conversations about sexuality in relationships and in communities.
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