Hypocrisy

Sunlight, as we know, is one of the best natural disinfectants. Similarly, the light of personal honesty is the best antidote for hypocrisy. Hypocrisy in its many forms is the enemy of personal progress. Its basis in self-delusion supports distorted self-perception and worldview. This a a form of intentional blindness, deafness and ignorance.

When I was young, I tied to rationalize everything about myself that was consciously dishonest. I had to hide my homosexual feelings because I would be victimized, I thought. I had to avoid those peers who seemed homosexual to others because they might cast suspicion on me. I had to deny my feelings for others because I could get hurt. Little by little, the cancer of self-repression darkened my consciousness and extinguished the normal exuberance of a child within me. I became overweight, depressed and suicidal at age thirteen.

I walked the rim of my that personal black hole for five years. I was withdrawn and the most unhappily alone I have ever been. Something in my genetic and learned being would not surrender. I managed to walk through my life every day within the iron-maiden of my personal torture while also doing what I had to do to get away from the environment which was feeding my depression and fear.

I have thoroughly explored that darkness of self-deceit and defensive dishonesty, so I cannot judge anyone too harshly for their difficulty in letting go of it and moving on. However, not letting go of it leads to only greater misery. So, as someone who is committed to promoting health and well being, I cannot simply accept the hopelessness of a person's self-delusion. And, it is this self-delusion, I believe, which leads to hypocrisy in those who do not develop personal honesty and action upon it as a regular practice.

We know from elementary psychology that feelings of superiority stem from feelings of inferiority. Grandiosity is a defense of those whose suffer from intense self-loathing, due to biochemical and developmental factors. In more subtle degrees, hypocrisy and a sense of moral superiority can be viewed in the same way. Lack of self-love promotes internal dishonesty to reconcile the disliked inner person with the outer shell of superior respectability.

So, I return to the sunlight analogy. When I was eighteen, I opened myself to a group of loving and accepting friends. It wasn't easy. In fact, to be honest, it took some pretty wild partying and the influence of alcohol to break free from the obsessive chains of my depression. I was fortunate to not trigger the likely genetic alcoholism which has destroyed some in my family of origin. My attempt to use drinking to break free could have led to a worse fate than being functionally depressed.

Opening myself to the sunlight by becoming vulnerable and visible as I truly was to my friends brought me acceptance and understanding which I had not learned to expect from people in my childhood environment. It helped me heal. I soon stopped my heavy drinking. I went on a diet and started to exercise regularly. I developed an active social/sexual life which was appropriate for a young gay man. And, most importantly, I vowed to myself never to return to the jail of self-repression again.

My point is that people seldom choose consciously to be hypocrites. Hypocrisy is a chronic disease of lies and sublimated self-hatred. The famous Biblical references to Christ's damning Pharisees for their hypocrisy ring false to me. If there was such a man as the Biblical Christ, he would have pitied the Pharisees for living lives of depressed self-deception. Rather than haranguing them, he would probably have tried to help them see their pain and misery. When I encounter hypocrites, I can clearly see their pain and their fear of their own truth.

Humanism, as I know it, is about acceptance, peace and love. Humanism flourishes in the sunlight of honesty and the commonality of human experience. Humanism is about promoting health and liberation of all human beings from self-hatred and misery. By embracing education and science, humanists have tremendous tools to make a significant difference in the lives of those in their environments. The first and most important step in promoting the greater good is living a self-loving and personally honest life.