Sleepwalking

Living a life in wakeful practice can be more difficult when confronted with the chaos of sleepwalkers. I recently had an experience which brought this to my awareness. It involved assembling a project I had designed for a friend.

I approach projects scientifically. I accumulate data. In this case, I went to my friend's apartment and measured the spaces where I was to create shelving areas. I remeasured and then drew a schematic drawing to scale. I sent that to my friend for approval. I calculated the linear feet of lumber needed. I assessed what tools my friend would bring to the project. I made a plan for the purchase of materials, hardware and tools. I then calculated a budget, based on the retail prices I researched from that plan. I submitted that to my friend for approval. I then worked with him on a plan of execution: Purchasing materials, storing materials, staining the lumber, assembly.

In my practice, I tend to take even these informal volunteer commitments seriously. Two months of delays and confusion about the project followed. There was trouble getting the wood stained. My friend's schedule was repeatedly changed. Weeks came and went. My creative energy for the project depleted, as my own need to get on with my life's priorities and scheduling took precedent. I made my peace with all that, because I respect my friend's challenges and commitments.

The time came when my friend was ready. I assembled the necessary tools. He had procured a helper to do the actual physical labor. I went to his house. My friend was not home and the helper was not there either. I called my friend. He was rushing on his way back home. Eventually, we were all there. No planning had been done for the project space. The spaces were still occupied with furniture and plugged-in electronics, still running. When I asked why, the response was, "Well, I didn't know what you'd want me to do."

The project was completed. It took about two hours longer than it should have. Neighbors were interrupting. The landlord came by and complained that the basement was being utilized to cut lumber. All of it unnecessary chaos, if my carefully laid out plans had been followed. The result may have been more satisfactory as well.  My friend was appreciatve.

I realized that this was a microcosm of my life as a person who has become accustomed to living in a wakeful and scientific life practice, my humanist practice, as I interact with those who do not live in conscious and intentional practice. Living like a pinball, bouncing off the bumpers of circumstance, is not a conscious and intentional process. It is sleepwalking through the shared world while dreaming an internal reality.

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with choosing to sleepwalk through life. I truly love my sleepwalking friends. However, I believe sleepwalking increases the possibility of going wrong by impairing the ability to make responsible and rational choices which impact others, who do not necessarily understand the internal reality of the sleepwalker. Frankly, sleepwalkers seem to be in the overwhelming majority. Look at the world scientifically to see what I mean.

As I see the ideals of humanist thought, they hinge on wakefulness. Humanists prize education and science as tools to extinguish ignorance and misery. Education is the process of awakening, when it is actually applied to the student's life. Science is the discipline of staying engaged, staying awake, by methodically testing and challenging the wakeful experience to intentionally improve the quality of it. I can see no way of living this kind of life without a daily practice, specifically evolved and refined by each awakened individual.