Impermanence

I recently had a discussion about moving with some friends after dinner. They gaped in horror as I revealed that I have probably moved thirty times in the last forty-one years. I laughed and explained that my motivation for these moves was largely economic, but also occasionally psychological. I have moved away from living situations because they were not healthy for me psychologically.

One of the company proudly stated that he has lived in his current house for nearly forty years. He shared details of his purchase of the property and his renovations over the years. Others shared less extensive histories with some more frequent moves. It occurred to me during the discussion that a large part of my readiness to change living locations stemmed from my being raised in a house which had been hand-built by my father. It was a shrine to counter-dependence and land-based stability. The house became a personal extension of my father and my mother.

A comment from one of my friends made me realize that I see housing much the same way I see clothing. If it no longer fits me, I change it. I have never been particularly fashion-conscious and treat clothing very pragmatically. Over the years, I have done the same with my residences.

By not identifying with clothes, cars or houses, I have been able to embrace change more readily than many people I have known. This is a form of what Buddhists call detachment. The paradox of this detachment is that I have taken great joy in setting up house and looking forward to the next adventure. My friend who has lived in the same house for forty years has done this through travel, which he does extensively. I see myself as a constant traveler, not in miles but in attitudes and adjustments.

Embracing impermanence is liberating. Cresting the great hills of the roller coaster of life affords breathtaking views to be remembered while plummeting to the low points of life's trials. Learning to live life by not clinging to the safety bar of the roller coaster car is the skill of joyful detachment at its peaks and in its valleys until the end of the ride.