Practice

I find my own reactions to stress very instructive for my practice. Anxiety/fear is a natural reaction to external and internal stress. Cognition is a practiced habit of looking at my own reactions and behaviors in my life's circumstances. I consider it a basic element of mindfulness.
I chose some years ago to acknowledge my powerlessness to change the world in the face of most of my daily circumstances. My best designs and plans for how my life should be do allow me to feel I am practicing some form of control over my destiny. However, no plan or design has ever turned out as I have planned it exactly. Admitting my relative powerlessness was the first step to understanding and accepting how my own mind and body function or fail to function under duress. In other words, by accepting the world as it is and my limitations as they are, I was free to forgive my own incapacity to ever attain perfection and godlike independence.

What I can do and must do, in my opinion, is take responsibility for my own actions and reactions under any circumstances, whether I have chosen those circumstances or not. This I can choose to do well and recognize when I am not. Failure is simply a chance to improve when my failure impacts my own life. Failing others is a reason for seeking forgiveness and making amends, as well as learning a lesson for the future.

It is hard to pay attention to myself and others while looking at an electronic screen. I sometimes find myself gravitating to my computer when I am stressed. It is avoidance, unless I am doing some intentional research on the situation I am consciously trying to face. Computer games, especially violent versions, are perhaps the most obvious example of avoidance and sublimation. When used consciously for a limited time, I think these methods can have debatable worth. But those who spend hours every day staring at a manipulated screen are bound to lose some significant skills for emotional self-reliance under stress.

Developing the skill of examining life and applying the lessons of that perception is a basic thread of what I call practice. While some ancient traditions hold indifference and passivity up as a models of perfection in this form of self understanding, I reject the idea that there is any perfect model for applying this part of practice for developing peace and joy in a human life. Each person who attempts intentional practice, I believe, must find his/her own best way.

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