Belonging

There is a basic human desire to belong. Some people satisfy this need by living in the same community for their entire lives. Others are joiners of causes or teams.

As my own identity became clear to me with maturity, my natural desire to belong came in conflict with my newly found sense of self. As a person, I did not believe in negating my beliefs and values in order to belong to groups which denigrated my identity or the identities of people like myself. As a person who deplored violence, for example, I did not want to belong to sports teams that participated in intentional violence in the name of competition. As a person who saw addiction as a disease, I did not wish to belong to groups which drank heavily and did recreational drugs.

My need to belong persists. However, I have learned to satisfy my need to belong by developing the understanding that I belong simply to the human species. Everywhere I go I belong, whether I choose to participate in specific group activities or not. I assert my right to belong as part of my existence as a human being. This belonging, in my opinion, is the foundation of universal human rights.

I have found that this consciously developed perspective on belonging has helped me adjust to many situations. As a gay man, it has been very valuable in dissipating the resentments and disappointments which inevitably come with establishing a open gay identity. As a professional nurse, this sense of belonging to the human race has helped me care for some of the most difficult patients imaginable. I have been able to be on their side, to be their advocate, despite finding their behaviors unpalatable or even threatening.

I see the repression of truthful identity which many people practice in order to belong to a specific interest group as an unhealthy practice. There are certainly the extreme examples of Nazis and Stalinists. The more subtle examples of racist, homophobic or class-restrictive groups are equally destructive to the human community. In fact, I maintain that the obsession with competitive teams among a large segment of the population is an impediment to human progress. These identities can do more to obscure our commonality than they do to bring us together.

As human beings gradually evolve away from the concepts of genetic family or tribe through a recognition of the limitations of those identities. we will have to develop that greater sense of belonging to the whole species. This may help us to put aside those cultural and religious trappings which divide rather than unite. Once we see each other as related equals within that greater human group, we will perhaps begin the real work of establishing universal human rights and economic justice.