Guidance

For the literate and mentally competent adult, most guidance from others is useless without a developed internal compass. Habit and psychological disposition obliterate logic and common sense effectively in the undisciplined mind. Anyone who has tried to speak to a friend about an alcohol problem knows this all too well.  Sadly, the life which is closed to learning from others is severely limited. 

When I was twenty-one, I had a science-teaching position in a private high school. My students were several years younger than I. My life experience was somewhat broader. I was able to see that the teaching method prescribed by the principal of the school, a rather belligerent, anti-intellectual nun, was geared to force-feeding information to the students. The catechism method, consistent with her monolithic "faith". 

I was a relatively strict enforcer of non-violent and mannered etiquette in my classes, yet I saw that the school's miserable performance on national science tests was directly related to its stilted, force-feeding method of teaching. Most students memorized Biology, Physics and Chemistry, but simply did not understand the working theories of any of it. Distracting them from the dull presentation of the data in their textbooks was the major method I used to teach them that same data. Frankly, I often felt like a stand-up comic, a clown or a carnival barker. But it worked. My students were the highest grade-earners in national science tests that school had seen in its recent memory. 

I believe this is why pop gurus are so effective at giving some people guidance on weight loss, brain function and other topics which tend to raise strong resistance in those who need the help the most.  The guru is usually handsome, charming or both. The voice is pleasant or even hypnotic. The stage is equipped with colorful Power-Point presentations. Humor is regularly injected to wake people up with laughter. The audience becomes distracted from their obsession and worry about obesity, cardiac malfunction or early dementia. The helpful information sneaks in to the distracted brain.

Mass distraction is, after all, a mainstay of modern political tactics. It seems to work, unfortunately. When it comes to giving guidance to a friend who seems to need it, this method can be helpful. Taking the friend to a rock concert with an eye to the conversation afterwards may be a better ploy than a staged intervention over coffee in the kitchen. In time, the coffee conversation may have value, if the conversation at other venues seems worthwhile. 

The best guidance is the guidance of a healthy social system. We all learn from appealing example. The guidance of a healthy group's process can be more effective than a one-on-one heart-to-heart for some. I know from my own experience that I usually seek guidance when I am stressed or have a knowledge deficit in some new area. Being able to get that guidance in the context of a caring community has been more helpful to me overall than getting the opinion or expertise of one person. Having multiple sources of information and direction adds depth to whatever guidance I can get. 

Giving and receiving loving guidance is an important value of being human. Both are acquired skills. Neither is effective without trust and compassion. The mindful person sees the opportunity to give or take guidance in any moment. I feel my development as a humanist has depended largely on this dynamic exchange of observations, methods and ideas.