Listening

There is no real compassion without listening. Listening is a form of ego-surrender. Good listening is a refined practice.

The iPhone culture does not promote good listening, in my opinion. There is a lot of talking and hearing going on. Sidewalk and subway monologues, laced with frustration or rage, are common in the city. Observing the monologist with any concentrated attention reveals a person who is not used to getting the attention of a good listener. Someone who is used to being listened to does not need to rage to get attention. 

I see a lot of vacant nodding when I watch people on the subway. I watch one person talking to another who is playing with his/her phone and nodding. The nodder is not listening. The speaker is not really talking to the nodder. She is talking to herself. This is masturbatory, not interactive.

Compassionate listening leads to compassionate responsiveness. This entails the undivided attention of the speaker and the listener. It requires a mutually focused moment. As a humanist, I respect a person's genuine need to be listened to or to listen to my responses. This is where human equality and love reside. Otherwise, peace, love and compassion are simply hollow words with little relevance to a self-absorbed life.