Smile

OK. I know. You see "Smile" as a title and you brace yourself for goofy pop psychology. Right? Wrong.

I am a practical humanist. There is no mysticism about the smile, but it does do some amazing things. By accepting that we are simply social animals, like chimps or dogs or elephants, we can realistically use our instinctive and intentional human behaviors for a better life experience. This is the advantage of a developed frontal lobe of the brain.

Smiling is a behavior which can be practiced, like any other physical activity. We have all experienced the infectious smile. It is like the infectious yawn. You encounter a wide smile, and you smile. Someone yawns while they are speaking with you, and you yawn. 

The why of these reflexes is unimportant to practice. In most social situations, the open smile is curative. In a similar way, the sardonic smirk can be off-putting.

When I was twenty-one in 1971, I moved deep into a predominantly poor African-American neighborhood in Boston with my partner. We were just as poor as our neighbors. I experienced reverse racism early on. Threats of violence and questions of my right to be living there were daily events as I walked in the neighborhood. My reaction was to remain silent and smile. It was unintentional at first. I just happened upon it as a instinctual defense. I gradually realized how powerful it was.

Within weeks my neighbors gave me a name, Stretch, due to my height. They still called me "white trash" on occasion, but it was done in a non-threatening way with a laugh. I kept on smiling. My smile wasn't forced, though frequently conscious. My smile became my human passport with those who would potentially dehumanize me based on my skin color. 

Now I smile whenever I am stressed in social situations. It has become a practiced reflex. I have encouraged others to experiment with the smile. They tell me anecdotes about how their smiles have worked for them. The smile is another simple way in which accepting ourselves and our animal natures can improve the quality of our lives. This is a core element of my humanist practice.