Apologies

Apologies are often misused. There seems to be a trend of this behavior in modern urban life. A driver cuts off another in heavy traffic and then waves an apology. A shopper tries to cut into a line at a cash register. If confronted, the shopper apologizes, as though the possessing demon had somehow forced the antisocial behavior. A phone chatter screams into a phone and disrupts a public place and blandly apologizes after ending the call. 

A sincere apology comes from a place of personal humility and self-knowledge. It is not a Jail Free Card in a game of Monopoly. However, this is becoming its common usage.

I wonder if I am simply a virtual character in another person's computer game when encountering this antisocial rudeness capped with a reflexive apology. There is no glimmer of humanity in those superficial waves or mumbled words. I imagine that this a a neophyte bully who will eventually be generally rude and obnoxious without any thought of an apology or responsible restraint.

Accepting these post-insult apologies enables the selfish behaviors which precede them. The bland acceptance which is often forthcoming from observers or victims is chilling. This indicates a social acceptance of selfishness and insincerity.

There is no social peace and joy in a society ruled by aggression, cheating and lying. These behaviors are symptoms of overpopulation and the limited accessibility of resources, in my opinion. A jammed highway is a perfect laboratory for observing the social effects of overpopulation and limited space. These perfect laboratories are found for four hours a day on average in every American city. 

My consolation in the face of these behaviors is my own humanist practice. Part of my practice is to point out aggression when I see it, whether or not a superficial apology is offered. I do not accept superficial apologies after obviously conscious aggression or antisocial behavior. I take these false apologies as an invitation to comment on the behavior directly. These are teaching opportunities. A civil and fair society requires all members to participate civilly and fairly.