Love

Love is not an emotion. It is a word with many meanings. Desperation, addiction, lust, adoration, infatuation...all of these words can be confused with the word "love". 

When I say "love", I mean "loving", a process of giving. 

For many, love is confused with getting affection or some other need met by a desirable object. For others, saying "I love you" is a convenient insincerity to maintain a needed relationship. Some think their loving is capable of eliciting loving in return from a desirable object. 

My understanding of loving is simple. Loving to me is the intentional behavior of offering myself fully with kindness, patience and generosity. I do not look to the world to harvest love for myself. I know that loving brings loving, just as respecting brings respecting. 

Peace is based in loving, not tolerance. Tolerance is a state of no commitment. It is the passive distancing between the self and another to simply avoid conflict. Tolerance has limits. Once the distance is closed, tolerance is tested and often fails. This has been the stimulus for war throughout the ages.

Loving dissolves unnecessary boundaries between human beings. Intentional loving is based in a strong sense of identity and personal security. Practice promotes the personal development which inspires loving through compassion. This is the loving of "what do I have to offer", as opposed to the neediness of "what can I get from this person". 

Loving in a healthy relationship between equal partners is an exchange of kindness, patience and generosity. Loving in many cases is not equal and is not an exchange. Loving as a humanist in many cases is a gift to another who may not initially be capable of loving in return due to anger, selfishness, prejudice or other factors. Persistence in loving overcomes many obstacles to peace. It is its own reward.