Break

I need a break. I have been setting up house since June. My good fortune in being able to live in a house with Peter is accompanied with many responsibilities and endless details to be attended to before I can collapse on a sofa with a good book for an afternoon. That day of leisure is in sight, but not here yet.

 

The break I need is more internal than external. While I am determined in my daily routines to maintain my mental and physical health, I am 62 and a survivor of some challenges to my health. Determination at times can be unhealthy. It can morph into pig-headed stubbornness.

 

So I am moderating my own determination. Not easy for this obsessive-compulsive, Type-A person, I admit. As I closed the door on the two service men from Lowes who were here to correct an issue with my new refrigerator this early AM, I realized I envied their structured life a bit. One refrigerator or dishwasher at a time. Concrete and somewhat predictably handled with screwdriver and Allen wrench. And they are getting paid.

 

My determination will be blended with more deep breathing today. I will remember to look at the colors of the Autumn leaves. When I am doing the two chores I have on my agenda today, I will allow myself some peripheral distraction. I can determine this less determined approach to my practice today.