Attitude

The proliferation of pop-psychology gurus in the 1970s tainted a basic concept from ancient wisdom: Attitude matters in human interaction. This does not mean that thinking positive thoughts will materialize success throughout life. The graveyards are full of positive-thinking people who died young by disease or misadventure.

 

I am talking about the active and intentional shaping of my own attitude in my dealings with other living beings. Yes, I mean all living beings from domestic pets to plants to people.

 

The current portrayal of personality icons on television and in films poses a challenge for the impressionable person whose identity is unformed. The thuggy African-American male, the angry heavy African-American woman, the histrionically nelly gay man, the brainiac Asian nerd. I see people acting out these stereotypes every day in supermarket lines and on the subway. The line between genuine personality and mimicry is easily perceptible to someone like me who has worked in human services for decades.

 

Forming a reflective identity often entails reshaping attitude toward the world. Basically, I believe I get back whatever I give with my attitude in interactions. If my attitude is open, calm and considered, I have learned to expect a considered and calm response. If my attitude is flippant or aggressive, I have learned to expect defensiveness or aggression. There are times when I believe my flippancy is called for. More often, however, being generally measured and quietly respectful despite the specifics of the interaction yields the best results.

 

Skepticism begins with me in my practice. This means I am always challenging my own assumptions. I have experimented scientifically with my own attitude in interactions. I had to do this when working with acutely disturbed and violent psychiatric patients, for example. My behavior could easily be modified with a punch in the face if I was not scientific.

 

My attitude toward myself is important in forming the attitude I bring to the world. If I do not address my attitude toward myself in meditation and reflection, I am jumping without a parachute when interacting with others. Life would be a confused misery of unpredictable responses to me. I have lived this life in adolescence. It was not very pleasant.

 

Practice is simply that. Practicing presenting an effective attitude to the world when interacting with it is perhaps the most basic step to living my practice. It is not a process of manipulating my environment. It is a process of forming my own behavior and awareness to be the most harmonious in my environment.