Identity

I look around at the various religious and philosophical group offerings on the Web. They range from the extreme firebrands to the serene nihilists. But it is all about the search for identity in most cases.

 

What if each of us spent more time developing his/her individual identity? What impact would that have on the groups each of us enters? I think the impact would be seismic.

 

There are those who advocate more group interaction as a remedy for the social ills of modern society. Watching the entranced walking down the sidewalk interacting with smart phones while barely avoiding fatal collisions with cars or telephone poles causes me to wonder if more interaction of any kind would be remedial. The constant interaction of social media and various telecommunications services may be credited for toppling a dictator in Egypt, but I do not see an improvement in the quality lives of the entranced here in urban America.

 

Preformed identity is easy to acquire. Son, daughter, mother, father, student, employee, employer, etc.. Role assignment is part of human social evolution. Stripping away these assigned roles is an adventure which few adults choose to take. Those of us who have been expelled from assigned roles in our families of origin for whatever reasons have been forced to pick our way cautiously through the minefield of social conformity. "Are you married?" "Do you have children?" "Where did you go to school?" These questions are routine, presumptive and unabashed.

 

Acceptance into the greater society is often highly conditional, but seldom stated clearly. Most human beings sacrifice a great deal of their true identities to belong or fit in. Few take the time and risk of being who they really are in full view of society. This is the enforced, corrosive hypocrisy of human society.

 

Being a practical humanist, a person who practices his concepts and values of what entails being as decent a human being as he can managed moment by moment, has required a good deal of identity formation within my own mind. Painful truths and surprisingly happy discoveries about who I am have shaped my practice. There have been no easy shortcuts on this journey. It's been all climbing fences and tunneling under immovable, towering obstacles. Doing all this nonviolently and responsibly has taken some hard work indeed. The journey itself has contributed a great deal to my identity.