Symmetry

I have a thing for symmetry. It is nearly pathological. I speculate that it has something to do with my poor vision. My right cornea is shaped like an egg. This adds distortion to my vision. Circles are ovals. My right eye sees curves where my left eye, the more accurate viewer, sees straight lines. 

Whatever the reason, a crooked picture on a wall drives me to distraction. I have a small level which I now use to hang pictures. Then I tape the bottom corners of the frame to the wall. 

Yesterday I bought an inexpensive area rug at Home Depot. I placed it on the floor and was suddenly thrown into an obsessive mania trying to make the rectangular rug somehow justify with the square space it occupied. I have learned to let a part of my mind watch myself when this happens. That part of mind usually says "Stop." when I am getting too absorbed in a symmetry situation. 

It did, and I did. Within a short period of time, my eyes adjusted to the placement of the rug I finally chose. I liked what I saw. On to other things.

Symmetry is just one of those things which both delight and torture me, depending on the circumstances. Knowing this gives me insight into how my mind works. This seems neurotic as I describe it here, but actually this is part of what I consider practice. Honestly paying attention to these foibles has acquainted me with myself over the years. By owning my eccentricities and working with them for a more practical peace with them, I develop new coping skills. This increases my sense of personal security and well being. When I feel secure and well, I am more likely to be mindful and compassion with others.