Reciprocity

I grew up with the notion that living life in community is a matter of reciprocity. In other words, generosity should be met with generosity. Acceptance should be met with acceptance. Candor should be met with candor. My own profession, nursing, pioneered a form of organizational reciprocity of licensure between states within the United States. 

I am finding that this ethic is fading in U.S. society. It seems to me that everyone is out for himself/herself more and more. Generosity is perceived as an opportunity for exploitation of weakness. Manners are perceived as arcane symptoms of the out-of-touch. Simply not with it. Not cool. The new cool is being harsh and rude. The battles over gay marriage and universal health care have exposed the lack of reciprocity between states within this country. 

This change is symptomatic of the culture of narcissism, promoted shamelessly by media and those who exploit media for power and money. It is the Donald Trump Syndrome: If I don't like you (or can't get something from you), you are insignificant to me. This syndrome is even evident in the proliferating non-profits who are constantly knocking on the door for money. 

Reciprocity indicates trust and fellowship. The lack of it belies suspicion and selfishness. The recent discussion about race around the Martin-Zimmerman case, for instance, has been rife with this lack of reciprocity. It has been couched by media and politicians as a matter of sides. Who is more racist? African-Americans in media present racism as an exclusively White problem. Whites in media accept this assumption often, but then try to derail the discussion away from race. There is no reciprocity of trust or equal responsibility. It is a blame game. And our own President, who is multiracial, has participated in this process, identifying himself in mono-racial terms.

I see humanism in part as a life choice to be open and reciprocal in human relationships. Justice, a pillar of human thought, centers on fairness. Reciprocity between human beings, displayed in trustful sharing and good manners, creates an atmosphere of equality. Focusing aggressively on what separates breeds more separation. Look to Israel-Palestine as an example.