Decisions

The most difficult decisions are those which entail relationships with others. Many people gain their ideal of success by eliminating other people from their decision-making. While this streamlines the process, it results inevitably in alienation and isolation. Alienation and isolation take their toll, whether that toll is acknowledged or not by the person who suffers it. As a nurse, I can testify to this.

Making decisions which incorporate others is always a challenge. Bureaucratic committees are often nightmares of inefficiency due to poor facilitation by leadership. Married couples divorce over their inability to make mutually beneficial decisions. Parents are tortured in trying to help adolescents make responsible decisions about education, sex and lifestyle. 

Humanist practice is a helpful compass for my decision-making. It is not a remedy for the difficulties. It simply helps me keep my focus on being mindful, compassionate and health-oriented towards my own life and the lives of those with whom I choose to associate. My experience in life has convinced me there is no absolute win-win decision for a whole group of people or a couple. However, I have found that maintaining a non-aggressive and health-oriented approach to making difficult decisions has made these decisions pan out with minimal trauma for me and others. 

There comes a time in any decision-making process with others when I must decide first whether or not the process is working for me. If it is not, I will try to voice my dissatisfaction with the process in an attempt to gain some consideration in the process. If this does not yield a result, I must then make my own decision and take appropriate action. While the win-win solution to any decision-making process with others is ideal, stagnation in a process of indecision may prevent this. Some people thrive on indecision, procrastination and denial. 

The matter of timing is crucial in my sense of decision-making and implementation. The practice of care in planning my time eliminates rash and autonomous decisions. Big decisions are usually made in a time frame of months or years in advance. By living realistically in the here and now, I can speculate on future needs. If I am dissatisfied with a life condition which I have been working at with no results in the present, chances are that it will not magically improve in the future. It is time to plan ahead for some progress in that situation. This opens my mind to new approaches which include practical and gradual change.