BUILD SKILLS.

I haven't been cooking much lately. We moved twice last year. That put a dent in all routines, good and bad.

Yesterday I made rolled chicken breasts, stuffed with cheese, in a thyme-Parmesan-Panko breading. My partner, still a meat-eater, had that glow that told me they came out just fine. In the afternoon, without thinking much about it, I devised a recipe for carob sandwich cookies, filled with vanilla cream. (Photo above.) A friend's digestive issues have necessitated a chocolate detox. I was glad to help out. It was the most cooking I have done in one day for quite some time.

My energy level rose as I expended more creative energy. Later in the day, I was out in our patio cleaning deck chairs and fertilizing our border flower bed. It seemed effortless in a way my 68-y.o. body had forgotten. Today I am not aching.

My inspiration came in part from Anthony's presence here on Friday. Anthony is a tall and very congenial pipe fitter from our local natural gas utility. He is perhaps a decade younger than I am. The gas company mandated that our meter had to be replaced. Anthony's specialized skills were required because our old meter was buried in the ground. Our new meter sits well above ground, framed  within a sculpture of various valves and pipes. It is quite impressive, for a gas meter.

Anthony worked silently for about 90 minutes in our unusually cold Spring weather. He had to make a dozen trips back and forth to his van to retrieve fittings and pipes and tools. He never once groaned or complained. His skill and confidence showed in every movement. And he seemed happy in the way that anyone who has made peace with life's conditions is happy. My respect for this kept me well out of his way and silent, as I watched from time to time. It was reverence on my part.

Our video age has elevated youth, pretty faces and rhetorical skills far above practical manual labor and the skill which comes from perseverance, time-consuming practice and concentration. One million hits on a video represent some crowning achievement, even if the video entails a chimpanzee scratching its ass. Yet that video, while it provides a fleeting giggle or guffaw, does not provide nutrition or utility. In fact, it likely is a waste of time for most of those one million viewers.

Is there any wonder that we are drowning in the tears of countless self-proclaimed victims? Of course not.

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson's 12 Rules for Life have been summarized by many as "First, clean up your room." While I think this misses the real meat in the sandwich, it hits on the good philosopher's practical behavioral message: Start small before thinking big. My point here is in line with the message that building confidence and success comes from building competence step by step. There is no better way of building competence than by choosing a skill and mastering it through persistent creative repetition and researching/applying the vast history of techniques pertaining to that skill.  There has never been a time in human history when the latter has been easier. And there may never have been a time in human history during which the former, requiring concentration and patience, has been more challenging. 

The illusion of skill is easy to acquire through digital technologies. A computer can enable the unskilled to compose music, create three-dimensional images, print three dimensional objects with precision, design a house, edit photographs, etc.. This can sap energy from the individual quest for actual hands-on skill with tangible materials. Why bother when a computer can do something faster and easier? The answer is rather simple: You are not the computer, and the measure of who you are as a human being is what you do with your own mind and hands, not what you click. 

Claiming to be a victim as an unimpaired adult entails acting like a disappointed or abused dependent, a child. There are skilled victims: Those who set themselves up skillfully for repeated failure and rejection through their own dysfunctional behaviors. But these people are not developing skills of competence. They fume with resentment at those who do not carry their weight for them or do not shelter them from any discomfort. They are frozen in ambivalent adolescence. 

If you wish to be a relatively happy adult, I say simply, "Build skills." If you like furniture, build a piece of furniture, no matter how rudimentary. If you like to paint, buy a pre-stretched canvas and a cheap paint set at a hobby store. If you like to run, do it every day in your neighborhood. If you bicycle, learn how to take your bicycle apart and fix it. If you like good food, print out some recipes and cook them. And, if you are drawn to You Tube, make a video and pay attention to the comments in order to build your skills. 

Skills may be measured by others against some standard of perfection. Acquiring skill for competition is a later step in the process of building skills for a beginner. Measuring yourself against experts as a beginner is self-sabotage. It is best to watch and learn from experts, with humility. The process of trying is ultimately what is important. Coming back again and again from mistakes or failure is essential. Learning that you can learn despite setbacks is the key to self-confidence. Skill is built as much from failure as it is from luck or success.