ROLE AND IDENTITY.

I am gobsmacked at the confusion between role and identity at the highest levels of government in the U.S. today. This misuse of role extends to the Oval Office. It is rife in Congress as well. The major media outlets have surrendered their roles as The Fourth Estate in favor of partisan political editorializing. 

What am I on about? Perhaps it would be best to begin my sharing my own experience with identity and roles. I will begin with identity. I grew up in the 1950's and 1960's as an acutely self-conscious homosexual male in a working class home which was trilingual (English, Russian, Polish). My mother was a first generation American. My father was a second generation American. I am the younger of two sons. I was raised as a Roman Catholic. 

I have had many roles. My first role outside my family, where I was often sarcastically referred to as "the baby", was as the candy distributor in my elementary school, beginning in fourth grade. The principal, a hard-boiled nun named Sister Mary Benigna, selected me after substitute teaching for a while in my class. She commented on my good math skills and manners. This seemed odd to me at the time, since she had once chased my older brother through the corridors for some major infraction while whipping the air with an old telephone cord . 

That first role, as candy distributor for the eight grades of my school, was a true blessing. I was a shy kid with thick glasses. Girls and boys occasionally vented their frustrations in my direction with verbal taunts. But my role stopped all of that for a while at least. I kept a candy store in a closet under the school's stairs. I submitted orders to the vendor who delivered the stock. I kept accounts and delivered them with the proceeds to Sister Mary Benigna each week. I admit she was impressed with my skills. The candy business boomed and turned a profit. 

I always relate to the character in prison movies who manages the commissary where the inmates purchase personal items. My candy store was the commissary of that prison which was my Catholic elementary school. 

As I progressed through life, I took on or was promoted to various professional roles. I was a secondary school science teacher. A nursing aide in a general hospital. A registered nurse. A head nurse. A nursing supervisor. A peer counselor. A group facilitator. A clinical director. A facility director. A chief financial officer. A salesman. An antiques dealer. A landlord. And so on.

My identity as a homosexual with working class roots also developed and changed. My personal roles have been varied. I took on the role of domestic partner several times. I took on the role of active community member. I maintained the role of son and caretaker. I have assumed the role of volunteer in various settings.

So, what is the difference, as I see it, between role and identity? And should the two be different? 

Professional roles, I believe, are best served when intentionally separated from personal identity. "All the world's a stage, " as Shakespeare put it in As You Like It, sums this up nicely. The best doctors and nurses I have known have been those who clearly know both who they are (identity) and who they are supposed to be in their roles. Sometimes the two converge effectively. Often they do not. 

Personal roles are more difficult to practice with mindfulness and true compassion. I have finally understood that the best way to fulfill my personal role in a personal relationship is by sacrificing my identity (personal needs and feelings) in favor of generosity toward those with whom I am involved ...  as long as I sense a reciprocity in that arrangement. If my role as a lover, for example, feels unrequited because of the way my identity is being affected, it is time to re-evaluate that relationship. 

My identity is my private affair. It is my job to hone that identity into one of openness, responsibility and compassion. It is my job alone to do what it takes to be confident and competent in who I am and who I wish to be. Authority, no matter how callous or well meaning, cannot control (or fix) my identity. It is mine, for better or worse, until death does us part. 

Roles are mutable and entail interaction with others. How I act within a role determines my effectiveness or failure. No amount of acting out my personal identity (charm or vitriol) will ultimately determine how well or how badly I have performed my role. Unless I understand my role from the outset and fulfill its requirements to the best of my ability with dignity and accountability, I will not perform well. 

My take on American acting as opposed to English acting is that American actors are often inferior because they do not understand the difference between identity and role as written in a script. 

It takes maturity, mental health and proper education to understand one's place as a person within a specific role. We are accosted daily in our media with reports about those who have not mustered those elements to serve in their elected or appointed roles. Our social media are rife with people acting out their identities without thought about what effect that acting out might play in the lives of their readers or viewers.