FRAUDS AND MONSTERS

My paternal grandparents, circa 1918.

My childhood was blessed by two idols, whom I adored. My paternal grandfather and grandmother took a liking to me. Of all the adults in my world, they were the only two who seemed to like me. The others, with the occasional exception of my father, either snubbed me or observed me with disdain. I was considered an "oddball" child from an early age.

I was an oddball: Shy, averse to rough play, seriously devout in church, easily amused on my own with pencil and paper. But, to some degree, my grandfather and grandmother were oddballs too. They were two well-traveled, self-taught intellectuals who lived among working poor families in a rundown part of their city. Their apartment was ancient and a shambles. When it rained, we scurried about with buckets to catch the water pouring from their ceilings. We laughed while getting wet.

I bathed in the warmth of the constant gentility of those two protectors of my early years. Never loud words or harsh arguments in their home. They asked me to join them in any menial task. Each of those a teaching moment in their minds. I shoveled coal with my grandfather, even though I could barely lift the small shovel. I peeled potatoes with my grandmother, one of the worst cooks I've known.  She would erupt into laughter at the table as she dished out burned pork chops and soupy mashed squash. My grandfather praised every bite.

Growing up with paragons of love and generosity did not prepare me for my world without them and after them. It amplified the cruelty and selfishness in the world outside their love.

My father, their only son, had learned that lesson as an adolescent in The Great Depression. My grandparents' poverty, due to my grandfather's ill health following a severe car accident early in The Depression, necessitated my teenage father's working while going to high school. He carried oil drums off tankers that docked several miles from his home. He was suddenly in the company of brutish longshoremen and sailors. He learned to fight and to win.

My father's resentment of his parents' poverty shaped his life and mine. His ability to sustain admiration and affection for his parents, despite his resentment of being poor, validated my own respect for my grandparents as I grew older. The understanding that even their ability to support and provide had its limits prepared me to calmly accept and sometimes challenge my own limitations. 

Those times when my grandparents were alive were very different. I am sure people like my grandparents still exist quietly in the appreciative company of their own families and friends. They are not scheming for crowdfunding on the internet. They are not producing YouTubes for attention. Genuine people get all the attention they need from those whose lives they enrich. They are not greedy for money, clicks and likes. They work hard to fulfill their responsibilities without expectations beyond maintaining their own self-respect. 

This is an age of frauds and monsters. Whining victims of fake crimes exploit public sympathy endlessly. Masked and demented mobs violently threaten and disrupt whole cities with impunity, while cowed police in riot armor look on. National politicians ignore all decorum or responsibility to their constituents in order to get what they want.

Humility, hard work and graciousness are no longer fashionable in any corner of our world. Mass communication has infected us with the virus of selfish obsessions and competitive greed. Rather than enhancing human virtue, our ability to show off has appealed to our vanity and narcissism. This is just another tired replay of human history, not some tech-driven Valhalla.

The most obvious symptom of this decline in our human environment, perhaps in predictable parallel to our natural environment, is the regular occurrence of mass murders and mob violence, both frequently rationalized by perpetrators who claim to have been influenced by mass communications.

Frauds and monsters have always managed to succeed for themselves with no concern for the public good. They entice, abuse and abandon. They sucker people into worthless auto-renewal subscriptions, for example. They campaign for public office saying one thing and then do another when elected. They bait the lowest attitudes about sexuality, race, gender, ethnicity, religion or age  to get attention for their grifting. They promise innovation and deliver the same old shit, wrapped up in a new package.

The only way to individually avoid or defeat frauds and monsters is to become wise. Wisdom comes from failing and then figuring out why. Wisdom comes from constant inquisitiveness and skeptical analysis of what is discovered. Wisdom comes from growing up, becoming self-sufficient and owning your own shortcomings and victories. Wisdom is what makes a humble, gracious, generous and truly successful adult. Wisdom does not come from scamming and demanding entitlements.